From Mom: Five Days Out

 This was originally posted on Sudie's Facebook page on February 22nd, 2022 at 2:11 PM

It’s been almost five days since we lost Reese. We’ve been without him almost as long as he was with us. The pain hasn’t left, but we don’t expect it to. The sobs come in waves, hitting us out of nowhere. The guilt over a good nights sleep hits every morning and the sadness of going to sleep, knowing that will result in one more day farther away from him, come every night. I honestly don’t know when it will ever go away, or if it ever will.

However, I take comfort in many things. The love and kindness we have received as a family, from our best friends and total strangers, has been overwhelming in the best possible way. Donations, flowers, and meals—they’re still coming even though he is gone, because people just want to remind us that we are loved, as individuals and as Reese’s parents. The people who have reached out with stories, letting us know we are not alone. I hate sharing this pain with others, that this is what we have in common, but it helps the healing process.

Reese was baptized yesterday by the Chaplain at Northside Hospital. We chose his final resting place—a beautiful blue bronze urn…tiny and perfect just like him. The HEARTstrings Bereavement team and spiritual team at the hospital has gone above and beyond with resources and assistance and care. We could not be getting through this without them.

He was with us for five days, but I keep looking at pictures from the last day. The only day we got to hold him. It was the hardest and greatest day of our lives—the worst and most beautiful. I would give anything to hold him again, but I know he is now free of pain, walking streets of gold, protecting us from above and waiting for the day we are reunited again.

We love you so much Reese. Mommy and Daddy miss you and can’t wait to see you again.